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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630682">After The Storm</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorRoyalty/pseuds/AuthorRoyalty'>AuthorRoyalty</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender, Voltron: Legendary Defender RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Does Anyone Know Where I Can Find A Life?, Emotional Hurt, Emotionally Repressed, Gen, I might write a second chapter, Keith (Voltron) has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Keith (Voltron)-centric, LivesRUs?????, My boi has many emotions, No Happy Ending Fest, Post-Canon, Sad Keith (Voltron), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why do I do this to myself, anyway, no?, not me, oh okay, or to you, so much of it, welp, who knows - Freeform</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:42:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>790</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorRoyalty/pseuds/AuthorRoyalty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The war's over. They've won.<br/>So why does Keith feel like he's lost?</p><p> </p><p>OR</p><p>Movies, books and shows always end when the heroes triumph over evil. But what happens after that?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>After The Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yaaay angst!!!<br/>Hrng I don't normally write angst, but the ask was too good to pass up! (Thanks @Neko_9)</p><p>written in one go, I just threw up words on the page</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was it.</p><p>They'd saved the universe.</p><p>He should feel ecstatic.</p><p>They can finally go back home.</p><p> </p><p>He feels empty.  </p><p>***</p><p>Keith has never had a home. The closest thing to one was the Castle of Lions, which was destroyed. It was home, not for the ship itself, but for the people on it. </p><p>It was home for him, but it was never home for the others. Their homes were back on Earth. And here they are. </p><p>Home. </p><p>(he wishes he'd died in the battle)</p><p>
  <strike>(maybe then he wouldn't be such a burden)</strike>
</p><p>***</p><p>He doesn't have a purpose. The thing he was made for is battle, and there is none.</p><p>So he fights himself. He's constantly trapped in his thoughts, bruised and battered by 'what if's and 'maybe's, by disappointed faces <strike>and dead bodies. So many of them make them go away make them stop please no no nonononono-</strike> He knows it isn't good, isn't healthy, but he doesn't know how to do anything else. </p><p>His mind and body are made for battle- and if there is none, it creates it's own. </p><p> </p><p>His heart hurts. </p><p>(why?)</p><p>***</p><p>Dreams.</p><p>He dreams of pain. </p><p>Phantom pains, mental scars, muscle aches. </p><p>Sometimes it's too much, and he can't move at all. He just lies there and braces for impact. </p><p>The mental images, the vivid recollection of the wounds healed unnaturally. Of nearly sacrificing himself. Of bleeding, and crying, and watching the others fall- </p><p>Of flying.</p><p>Of flying, then falling, plummeting to the ground, but never quite landing. Perpetually reaching for something <em>just</em> out of reach. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't sleep. </p><p>***</p><p>Keith used to eat food just to avoid collapsing (he knows from experience how that feels). </p><p>After he went to space, he began to eat to spend time with his friends. </p><p>Back in his shack, the food only brings painful memories of Hunk, of Coran. Of when he still had people who cared about him. </p><p>He knows he should eat, a distant part of his mind telling him he has to, to survive (the voice sounds suspiciously like Shiro). But he can't bring himself to painful moments over and over again.</p><p>So he doesn't eat, merely takes supplements and water. He knows, he <em>knows </em>this is going to kill him. He can feel it, but he can't find the motivation to care. </p><p>If he died. Right now. Would anyone even care?</p><p>The paladins would be sad for a few days, but they'd move on. He knows they would. </p><p> </p><p>He doesn't eat.</p><p>(he can't)</p><p>---</p><p>Lance decides to have a get together. He hasn't seen Shiro and Pidge and Hunk and Keith in <em>forever, </em>and he misses them. So he plans a little party, just them. Allura and Coran can't make it, but they send a delicious Altean delicacy made by Allura's boyfriend, Dontir. </p><p>When they'd first gotten together, Lance had expected to feel sad, heartbroken. But he felt nothing except for a little wistful, and he realized he'd never truly loved Allura the way Dontir did. He flirted, because it was just what he did, but he didn't have real feelings for her. Allura was one of his best friends, but she wasn't his lover.</p><p>Lance shakes his head to get rid of these thoughts, and focus on the party. He calls up the paladins, and they each send a confirmation. Keith sounded... different over the phone, but he was probably training or something. He shakes his head fondly, then gets ready to meet them at the beach.</p><p>---</p><p>Keith has no idea why he'd even said yes to coming. Maybe it was Lance's voice, or the thought of them at least pretending to care about him. </p><p>But he's here now, and they're discussing Lance's new class, and how one of his students reminds Lance of himself. Pidge is taking pictures and adding her two cents every once in a while. Shiro and Hunk are listening and teasing Lance, everyone eating pieces of the Altean delicacy and the other food Hunk had made. </p><p>He's supposed to feel good, feel... happy. </p><p>So why doesn't he?</p><p>There's a hollow space just under his ribcage, and nothing can fill it up (he's tried). </p><p>He knows the others see the bags under his eyes, the oddly loose clothes hanging off his frame. They see his forced smiles, his lack of reaction to Lance's playful jabbing. They ask him about it, but he brushes it off, saying it's from too much training or something. He can't really remember.</p><p>He knows he should tell them, they'll be able to help him, he knows this. But....but what if he's just bothering them and wasting their time?</p><p>What if they're just pretending to care about him?</p><p>What if, what if what if whatifwhatifwhat-</p><p>He blacks out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Give me lots of validation plz I'm an anxious child!</p><p> If you liked this, you could leave me a prompt here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24355960</p><p>Or check out my other works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorRoyalty/works</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading, dudes and dudettes. Have a lovely day/night, stay happy and hydrated. Feedback is always appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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